Monday, November 1, 2010

Mortal Waste


                                                      MORTAL WASTE
                                                                
                                                                    By

                                                         Apurva Malewar

In this world we live in, so full of morality, rules that are based on circumstances and the way we carry them out, seem  a bit erratic, when I look at everyone walking by the  street, when I travel, when I just sit by the ocean, there are people everywhere, doing their own things,  lost in their own world, I wonder what they must be thinking, what’s going on in their minds, what is the outcome of many reactions, that I see, the causes and the needs to obtain information is not easy, a crazy blend of thorough deductions, observations and education cannot guarantee what is in the persons mind. If I had one wish in this world, I would not ask for fame and fortune, because that can be lost, I will ask for one profound opportunity to read and understand the minds of a man.  Which is more like a opening a box full of treasure, the deepest and the darkest secrets, that lie beneath, the motives, the emotions, the feelings the pain, everything that goes through, a plethora of happenings, abundant information. It’s a lot, and it is something that can alter my views and my apprehensions on people.
I just wish I could do that, the reason why I wish to have this sort of a gift is because however sane or ethical we seem to be as people, there is always this erratic or a crazy tangent that we go into, there are many causes for this to happen, anger, love, greed, etc… when we are so balanced and so full of control, how does this slip by us? Is a question, because where I am getting at is knowing why people are so hasty with their lives and decisions, this is something I do not understand. What drives it, insecurity? Greed? Anger? I cannot comprehend or decipher the causes of such reactions, but what I concluded from these is that most of these hasty decisions do not go well; they give rise to failure or failing of a cause.
I ponder over such a profoundly sensitive thing, and I feel being desperate and helplessness leads one to being hasty. Not that we are all perfect, but there are some people who get hasty with their lives and that goes to be a total waste. All that they did, planned, is gone forever. Until and unless one does make an effort to correct it, in the right way. I did experience such hastiness from someone who was close to me, not anymore. She became so profoundly insecure, and desperate that she wanted me to join hands with her, not knowing the causes, it put me under a lot of pressure, I had to make a decision, for the fear of losing my loved one, I gave in. Not knowing her past, not knowing the reason behind such a decision, not knowing anything about her. Once I gave in, I realized that it was all about her, the whole world revolved around just her, it was a very selfish thing. There was a lot of resentment, and anger, because what I needed was not important. I slowly drew away just did not want to get in her toes for anything, I did not give her what she wanted, and she started feeling insecure, and guess what,  she started having an affair for her insecurities, she now depended on people and used them to her advantage. I do not want to get into it, just that it was very shameful on her part to do those bad things, and when she got caught, she set me up like it was my entire fault.
Anyway, I wonder what drives people to such insane moods, that you can get hasty by just about everything, I do know that not everyone is like that, but we do have our own ways. I am now detached from such undeserving people,  and I feel so free, relieved and released, that now I can do whatever I want, and enjoy life like I always do, it was a hard learning, life taught me a lesson, I didn’t deserve it, but then It was my fault to give in.
We all need to take things that are negative away from our lives, keep them far away, and let them not reach us, We must also keep such people away, they can really cause havoc with one’s lives, we need more people  who are happy, positive and can change lives for the better. There is a saying that goes, stick to your kind. Makes a lot of sense to me.
We will meet a lot of people in our lives, and that goes without saying, but then we must be careful, who is playing us and who is not. Because I don’t want people to go through what I did, I can go on and on talking about one miserable woman who tried to change my life for the worse, but I am glad I woke up realized that this life is not to be wasted on such worthless people, they are not worth wasting time. I did a sort of a self-rehab on my self, overcoming my miseries and all, and that sort of helps, I do one good a day, and that leads me to do a lot of good to a lot of people every day, later it becomes a habit to do good, that makes me feel so good, it’s like a blessing. Refraining from all that is bad, and confining oneself to all that is good, is rejuvenating. I am not saying, or telling people to become a saint,  or walk the paths of sainthood, I am not one, and have no intentions to become one, I do have my flaws and so will you. My dad once said “what goes around comes around son”, and that’s true, people who try to make your life miserable will lead miserable lives, I am sure. But then thank god that nothing bad has happened to me, and I am so happy now that everywhere I go I have people come to me with good faith and goodness with a lot of respect. And that stands.
So people don’t get messed up and start getting hasty with your lives, relax, breathe easy, calm down and think, It’s hard, but then it’s worth it, I am going through this transition, I am experiencing  its effects, they are positive…….. Believe me.


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1 comment:

  1. We r the creators of the thoughts that flow through our minds and, and given this fact, we can change our thoughts if we choose to do so..... apurva i feel u have achieved this in ur blog...keep it up!

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